If you made a mistake once, say, you had an affair outside of your relationship, and your ex left you because of this, don’t go and make the same mistake again.

If you want to have your ex back with you, at a guess, they either believe that this was a one off experience which you won’t repeat, or that you will control your behavior appropriately since you are trying to get back together with them.

So don’t whatever you do, make one mistake, and then get back together with your ex only to make the same mistake again. This is just not playing nice, and if you know that you will be unable to mend your ways or that you are not willing to do so, you might as well let your ex know this from the beginning so that they can make a decision which is fully informed. This is only fair as otherwise you will be putting both yourselves through the wringer again when things go wrong with your relationship, which they probably will if it is based on half truths.

You also need to be willing to either accept or work through any problems which you might both have before getting back into a relationship. Otherwise you can watch as your relationship heads for rocky waters once again.

... continued in the book